I swallowed gum, like bitter wine, a sweetness rotted at the core. Each chew a prayer you might be mine, each pop a hope you'd ask for more.
Skin remembers what the mind buries. The way shame slithers down the spine like honey turned to rot, like lullabies sung with knives in the notes.
I loved her with madness, but I hid it with charm.
I know she won't trust me. But I'll be the one person she'll regret losing.
I thought I was a prisoner of fate. But I was just afraid to choose.
I don't want her to love me. I want her to see me.
I burned in all your silent ways.
You bloomed in pain. I wilted worse.
I pulled constellations from my gums, Threaded galaxies through chipped teeth... A quiet cosmos spitting blood in the sink.
I hate that I can't hate you right, Not even close, not even a bit, Not even when I say I do.