Stella Andrews

Stella Andrews Poems

Stella Andrews Biography

the number and mass of all the mistakes i have made in the past two years is crippling. i lost every.single.thing. that made me, me. i lost the one person who ever truely understood me and really loved me and made me soo happy. her name was tessa and i was just another of those cu.nts who take something for granted. i was stuck in my own little world and didnt care to look through someone elses eyes. well i got what i deserved. i fuc.ked up my entire life with nothing to show for it. but heres the funny part, im still half glad ithappened. u find out who u really are and what your made of when ur pushed to the breaking egde. and i found out im stronger than i thought, smarter and have so much i can give. i hold my head high bcoz i made my mistakes and still live with tje consinquences everyday. but i realised my mistakes and i mean from the bottom of my heart that i never intended to do that to you tessa. and if i had of had just someone slap me in the face and say look at how ur treating her! i would have popped my bubble myself for you. i know im just rambling and i know tessa will never see this.. but i just wish i could tell her i love her. always have. i cant take back what ive done but i want to fix things. i never told anyone this, but the only reason i left was coz ian was saying he was going to kill himself. and would be on the phone to me crying then say hes going to do it now and the only way i could make him feel better was if i said i would come up and live with him. if u ask the social worker at school she would tell u that befire i left i went to her asking how to talk to suicidal ppl. i never told tessa this bcoz it sounds like a stupid fake excuse and i dont want her to take me back from pity or fake or something. he is nothing but an emotional hurricane. everything he comes into contact with he sucks up, twirls around, then spits them out like their nothing. i know i broke your heart with no excuse. but i dont know how to say sorry to you. nothing i can do will ever be enough for what iv done)

The Best Poem Of Stella Andrews

Short Story- Finding Myself

I really like Myself. We seem to share the same interests in nearly everything. We dress the same, like the same music, movies, activities and so much more. We sit together at the table with a Milo and read the junk mail and newspaper or watch tv. She hates the wind when it's raining and even more despises cruelty being spread into our world like the black toxic smoke you see lurking out of old trucks. She's forever sweet and caring and holds me when I'm down. She listens to me even when I'm speaking nonsense and won't ever leave me until I'm smiling again.
She's smarter than I am. She has the ability to see things as they are, instead of seeing through rose coloured glasses like me. She somehow keeps her emotions and decision making sections of her brain very separate. I don't know how, but I admire it.

I lost her for a long time because I refused to listen to her at the edge of a storm. She told me this was only going to bring disaster but I was so restless back then and I was curious to see what it's like inside. She begged and begged me to stay, but I wouldn't listen. I turned my back on her and dived headfirst into the dark, consuming storm.
All her warnings came true, of course. Things got heavy quickly inside there. Before long, I had lost all control over the situation. The storm swallowed me whole. I lost the lifelines I had that were to guide me home and was left stranded. I had nothing. I curled myself into a protective ball and called out to Her to help me.. I screamed and screamed. But there was nothing but silence. She was gone.
I couldn't find her anymore.
Desperate, I dug a trench and squeezed myself inside. It kept me alive, safe and dry until the worse of the storm had past. I peeked my head up a few times, and every time I did, I would be smashed back down into my place. I could see the way home, but i was too scared to try for it. It was heart-breaking knowing that escape to safety was only a short trek away, but that I was too scared to face the storm on my own. I was scared it'd knock me down so hard that I'd never get up again. And so I stayed there. And waited… waited. All on my own.

After the storm had moved on, I emerged from the hole in the ground I had dug and realised for the first time just how small it was. I wondered how I had spent what felt like a lifetime in there. It was hardly big enough to accommodate a child. Was I really that small?
When I climbed out and looked around, there was nothing but ruin left behind. The storm had sucked up everything in its path, spun it around, and spat it out like a bad taste. But it was gone. And I knew what I had to do. I scaled each and every sharp piece of debris with my bare cold feet that lay in the way on my journey back home.

It was hard, but I made it. I found my way home. It is so nice to be back in a safe warm place where i do not fear for my life every waking moment.
I found Myself on a chair by a cliff and I sat down beside her. We talked for a long time. I told her I regretted not listening to her, but I wasn't sorry for the experience I had gained. I felt like a survivor. There was a lot of time to think inside that trench. I had survived and won the experience like a medal that I can hang on my wall. She understood this, the beautiful soul she is. She forgave me for my ignorance and held me until all the fear had disappeared. I knew I would always be ok as long as I had her.
Since that day, she has never left my side and I can always count on her to be there and to show me the way. I've never been alone since.

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