Activities of Stacy Dinmaa

A man once made promises to me but never kept any so please forgive me if I don't believe your words.
Forgive me if you think I'm too sensitive.
Forgive me if I'm hard to deal with.
I'd rather choose me than lose myself again.
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Why are you a story in thousand stories?
Why are you the impossibility in everyone's reality?
Is anything new? I'm curious,
Seems pain bought a safe place here,
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Would it be okay to say I don't want to hide behind a man? Would it be okay to say I feel challenged when a woman is degraded everytime a man is being praised? What is it about women that makes society condemn us so much? Is it because our follow women gave up their power and subjected themselves to slavery from men? Or should I remind you that tolerating disrespect is also a state of emotional and mental slavery? Who did this to women? Who silenced women so much to give them an option to choose from life, relationships, marriages, careers and goals. Why is a man granted freedom yet a woman is restrained? Why are women expected to keep accepting manipulations from an excuse called gender roles? Why should a man grow to think and believe he has control over a woman? Some will say it's because he's the head yet they pretend to forget such logic has subdued a lot of men that lacks the will power of a man to act as monsters towards women just so they'd taste the bliss promised by a society that's too daft to call them out for accountability when such injustice is witnessed. If so, why can't we just focus on masculinity and femininity by allowing both genders coexist together without being seen as a threat, challenge or another reason for a power play charade? When will this stop? When will women be trusted with the freedom to be both masculine and feminine without being seen as too wild, rude, not a wife material, disrespectful or a bad woman? When will the character of a woman stop being judged by society and it's expectations? When will it stop? The world is evolving but no one cares about the pressure y'all place on a woman. Shouldn't she have a life just because she's a woman? Shouldn't she pursue her goals or don't she have the right to dream just because she's supposed to breed kids for y'all? Just because our mothers represents women in a way you deem fit does it mean women shouldn't think or wish for a life that's different from the concept you grasp? Mind you, we're not our mothers and we saw tears and pleas not to live a life like theirs. We heard prayers not to marry a husband like theirs yet you expect me to settle for the deceit to belive I can be nothing more than a woman, a mother and a wife? you expect me to accept that hard work and accolades are expected more from a man yet the achievements of a woman is supported by a man? How cynical can you be? Why should society decide how I should live and behave? And why fish for imperfections in us yet praise a man with clear flaws? Just because you see men as your redemption to a better life so you protect them? Selfish no? Before being a woman we're all humans and the creator has given us freedom to think and act differently because we're different so as a human why should I be seen only as a woman?
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I think it's time to let it go. Let go of the doubt, let go of the fear, let go of the insecurities, let go of the uncertainties, I think it's time. Time to recognize the depth of the love I give. Time to accept the innocence of my heart. It's time to set it free, it's time to let it feel, it's time to let it make mistakes. Time to let her see the spark of satisfaction her deep affection brings. It's time to embrace the freedom to be seen, heard, valued, appreciated and loved. It's time to refuse to be lost in the darkness that made me gone. It's time to explore the tenderness of my heart and give it to the one it beats for but what if? She thought…what if? ?
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It's so hard to deal with life. To heal and Un-heal. To break and cry with nothing to hold on to.
Day's like this it's hard to learn and un-learn and realize you're nothing close to being smart. Day's like this I realize I lived my life in a bubble called unreality. Day's like this I got to find out I'm powerless and alone regardless of the people on my side. I realize my parents are right. Day's like this I realize they have always been right about life. I feel sorry for ever doubting them. Day's like this I respect and love them more because days like this I realize I'm dumb about this journey called Life…
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I think it's time to let it go…..
Let go of the doubt,
Let go of the fear,
Let go of the insecurities,
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For a moment you convinced me this was Love,
For a moment you convinced me my Pain was valid,
For a moment you convinced me I wasn't Enough….
In that moment, I was
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You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
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How wrong can wrong be? Breaking free from a bound that was wrong…
Giving so much for a love so wrong…..
Loosing it all in a place like wrong…
Hating myself so much for being wrong!
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A man once made promises to me but never kept any so please forgive me if I don't believe your words.
Forgive me if you think I'm too sensitive.
Forgive me if I'm hard to deal with.
I'd rather chose me than lose myself again.
...