Zocko Chico Comments

the last stanza is fine for me until i get to these*** lines: *** & I remember how that memory gives me the hope that my memory is defective & the mirror I use to see contains a flaw of utmost beauty....... [[ how does the memory of your kids give you hope that your memory is defective and your mirror is flawed? ]] ......i once had a PH friend find a 'horrible' mistake in one of my poems; i had written something which was exactly the opposite of what i meant to say! bri ;)

Bri scrambles for leftover food! ! ! and i lick my plate and my wife's. i'd lick my stepdaughter's [plate] but i might get too turned on. AND more favorite lines: I remember when sunrises and sunsets Proved the existence of a higher power Rather than just another swing Of a planet around a molten furnace ........(to be continued) ....but, first, to MyPoemList (i don't want to forget!)

some favorite lines [from my favorite stanza so far]: I remember that no one ever explained why being important was important ......i'm hearing music on your poem's page; i 'love' it; it stopped favorite LINE so far: away from salving self-soothing stories of life hereafter....i stopped believing about 50 years ago and never 'went back'. :) see you in HELL? ? ? :) (to be continued) .....

I remember laying down........lying down :) this, so far, is an intriguing poem, but i don't like much WHEN poets neglect or get punctuation wrong. [in fact, i don't like it 'at all'! e.g. these lines gave me trouble: I remember when I longed for the invisible & I don’t know why I remember when I was thin but I don’t remember when ............(to be continued) ....

So lovely. Words truly coming from the heart. Nicely done!