Sunday, October 26, 2008

Winter's Gift Comments

Rating: 3.3

On a gloomy winter morning,
When boughs stood mourning,
With an agonized mind,
I left my home behind...
...
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Raihana Abdul Jabbar
COMMENTS
Ben Gieske 10 November 2008

Nicely done. Pretty images to evoke the senses. The words: gloomy, agonized, friend in tow, keek, crunched, withered bloom, red blobs, tinge, The words of the first stanze are drawn out (gloomy, moring, mourning) when pronounced setting up the impression that you are walking slowly with a heavy heart, maybe in deep snow. This becomes evident in the final stanza. I like the introduction of the “little finch singing merry”. After this first stanza the pace of reading picks up and then, after trickling down, “withdrew...Soothing” (drawn out again) slows it down considerably terminating in a relaxed and more peaceful state.

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Asif Andalib 08 November 2008

It's nice but I think you will do much better if you do not go for rhyme most of the times. Anyways keep on writing cause you have the talent to become a great poet.

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XxBrokenHeartedCupidxX ! ! 06 November 2008

i love it^.^i give it a 10++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ cause its a great poem

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Sarwar Chowdhury 27 October 2008

Agonised mind at last entered in soothing atmosphere....nice.....10

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