Winds And Wings Comments

you got a nice style going for you. Keep it up. I enjoyed this

Sorry, I read your dandelion poem and commented on this thread. Me bad.

A dandelion is a nuisance flower to most homeowners with a lawn filled with insipid green grass. It's a beautiful flower, yet, it's shunned, banished to the mulch dump, pulled out at the root wherever it may bloom on someone's yard. Maybe stay on that topic of how you relate to being misunderstood, and being pulled at and rooted out of your own right to live, bloom and grow. To bloom into a flower and have the wind blow your spores to procreate new generations of beauty. Just a thought. I did a poem about dandelions when I was a teenager, and they published it on that premise. Personally, i'd like to see what you can do with that premise. It could reveal, effectively to the reader what you are going through, and how you feel, now in your teenage life.

such emotion placed in a piece of writing if a story is worth a thousand words this on just hit all thousand a stupendous love the ending (the end of a Phoenix when it purpose is done to ash it returns as it set free and is reborn)

Again, read this, enjoyed it as it carried me along, I must agree with what others said, but I must also admit, I cannot get away with 'Shakespearian Poetry, your words blended well with this style. (Very impressive) I myself, prefer to stick to my own style and let the magic take it where it may. Good Ink Tiffany! -Kelly. (PS, As I said, I can agree with the other comments, but I never tear ones work apart, the poet (you) is the only one, the only critic that counts.) -Kelly.

Absolutely beautiful. I was hooked from the beginning and couldn't pull my eyes away for a moment. Your style of writing is so entrancing. The vivid imagery, potent emotion, and effective wording and word choice captured me and wouldn't let me go.

This part got me interested with the poem: Music notes slip through the atmosphere The soothing sorrow filling The chilly air right here My chest fills with awe Whilst I softly serenade This melody stolen from the grave A lonely rose in a glass Still alive, sits proper Ambitions amassing to none ''Oh poor graceful plant, '' I whisper ''Thy's only destiny is to lament In thy's limitations Never knowing the joyous feelings Life provides.'' Pity washes over me As I gaze upon this Ancient symbol of love and beauty ''Thou shalt be allowed To live freely; 'Tis your right! '' Suddenly a light flashes Within my eyes, burning bright A breeze surrounds the prisoner Picking up power as the moments pass Red darkens to black Petal transform to feathers All within the tiny cylinder Containing uncanny weather.. everything else, you lost me. Make it like more inspiring, try reading famous childhood books or Fantasy books, you'll get the idea to make this poem really good :)

Its beautiful stuff with an amazing flourish of language for someone your age, but I can't help but feel that its slightly clichéd, the emotions don’t seem authentic and seem drawing out in teenage angst which I admit I have been a part of many, many times. I see this as a struggle between the states of despair and the need to emancipate from it, but I cannot help but feel that this is just teenage emotion. I think you’re really amazing with form and language, but you need to really explore life and mature into an older women before you understand that the pain of today is nothing in comparison to what you will feel your older. Still good stuff

Again, i'm shockd dat u're only 6teen. This is bcos dis poem is rich with deliberate structure to enhance d message. I'd prefer it called the rose and the raven. Immortality is about taking on a form dat will guarantee permeableness and ubiquity, so also is vision. I wonder if u've read pygmalion(nt necessarily bernard shaw's version) there's a lot more i wud hv said abt dis poem, bt i lack d words.

its a nice refreshing poem....beautifully flowing

I like the Beauty and Beast reference, always romantic, and the E.A. Poe reference too, maybe? but much happier :)

Now see, this poetry goes with passion. The oxymoron bittersweet' the archaic language all adds to its beauty. Bravo. I love this work.

Wow, strong images, almost like a painting, bringing a wonderful message.

Great, but, If you start more than one poem with, music, it will get a little old, on the other hand, you are doing well! consider and it will help alot. trust me, I took criticism, and it took me along way into the heart of poetry.

Well penned contemplation into poetic rendition.

Really like this, a really good poem. A really great write. May i invite you to read my new poem called, Return Of The Crow.