Will I Fill A Room? Comments

Gee! in 2015 i was wordy, but PH let me get away with it then. no more! ha ha. now i suggest changing: we will" in " To know and accept we will all" to " we'll" instead of moving " all" to the next line, as i'd suggested 4 years ago! :) I'll send to MyPoemList if i already didn't. bri :) I'd like to be there to help fill up the room's air, but first you'll have to forward to me the plane.... fare.

Will I Fill A Room? Will I fill a Room? Will Anyone be there? Will there be flowers? Does anyone really care? Will there be sunshine? Will there be rain? Will my treasured memories Be shared down memory lane? What tune will be played As the mourners are asked to stand? Will it fill your heart? Will you wish you could hold my hand? Will there be roses? Will there be daisies too? Will there be moving pictures Of how we all grew? I hope memories of me will shine Each and every day Too hope I have given something And made so many feel okay Okay to love, Okay to laugh To know and accept we will all One day take this path So, Will I fill a room I hope I will raise a smile Importantly I hope I do go out in STYLE =================================================== “Too hope I have given something” ……….. I get it, though the line construction seems un-american; ok; you aren’t American! Maybe a comma after “Too” would satisfy me. picky, picky! [more ‘suggestion’: “To know and accept we will all One day take this path” …… ……personally (heh heh) , I would drop “all” down to the next line, in front of “one”. ] “So, Will I fill a room” ……… a statement or a question? it depends (‘will I fill a room’) on how small the room is AND how big you get before dying. this IS about a funeral/wake, isn’t it? or a retirement party? [plus, see below] ================================================== Bri’s FORM FOR COMMENTING ON POEMS: [“n/a” = not applicable to this poem] ==================================== Poem Comment Form As my shoulder I did abuse, here is what may amuse: A poem-comment “form”; I know it ain’t the norm. But if I write comments TOO long, I’ll never hear the end of the song: “Bri, I Told You, Take Care Of Shoulder; You’re Young No More & Getting Older”. So this simple form I have devised. Don’t look at me! Are you so surprised? If I use the form I MAY have more time … to read more poems with, or without, rhyme. After all, I can’t read and NOT comment, and if you must have MORE input ……….from me … send me a request ……….., though “more” AIN’T free. ====================================================== A. I enjoyed it: Yes _x__ ; No___ ; I’m not telling___ B. I understood it: Yes__x_; No___; I’m not sure___ C. I enjoyed the: Rhyming __x_; Rhythm__x_; Originality___; Cleverness___; Humor/Humour___; Seriousness_x__; Sensuality___; Humanity_x__; Alliterations___; Personal touch(?) _x__; Other __use of capitalization for emphasis; varied length of stanzas________ D. It makes me want to read more of your poems: Yes___; No___; I’m not telling_x__ E. The use of English was: Impeccable/good__x_; Deplorable/bad___; In between___; No comment___ F. Could use proofreading: Yes___; No___; You decide__x_ THANKS FOR SHARING. bri :) you ARE going out in STYLE I think; it just is taking a while for the final exit. take a bow.

Great reminder as well good question that we need to have constantly...sure you can be a floor...why floor because u are the surface that makes everyone can stand :) _Soul

Moving from morbidity to magnificence in helping us to deal with our mortality.

we all dream Lyn to leave our footprints in some minds till they're buried in the sands of time. a wonderful poem!

Nice write. You will depart in style for sure.