Why Was I So Stupid? Poem by Michelle Dragonfly

What did I do wrong?
Did I hurt you somehow?
Did I say the wrong thing?
Wear the wrong clothes?
Act the wrong way?

I didn't mean to.
Honest I didn't.
If only I had known!
But you never said anything.
It was left at silence.

But I can't blame you.
It's my fault,
And mine alone.
You didn't hurt you.
I hurt you.

If I only knew how!
I'd go back in an instant
If there were anyway
To fix what I've done.
But I can't.

I can't help but feel
So, so, so responsible.
But there's the voice
In my head
Promising it's not my fault.

It tells me it's you.
Prejudiced because of who I am,
How I look,
Things like that.
Saying it's who you are.

In all honesty,
I should have known better.
I should have known
You couldn't be trusted.
You've hurt me before.

But I'm a fool.
I came running back.
I went back to trusting,
Back to hoping.
You tore my heart in two.

Why was I so stupid?
Why did I trust you?
I shouldn't have
Ever
Met your eyes.

I'm not sure how I feel now.
After the stab wound
You oh-so-kindly
Delivered
Into my back.

Not many words work.
They're all too weak.
Betrayed, confused, hurt.
Angry, guilty, sad.
Enraged doesn't cover it.

I saw your smile.
Your personality, magnetic.
Your ideas, energetic.
You were what I thought
Being a teenager would be.

Part of it, at least.
I wanted the friendship,
The happy parties,
The things you didn't
Include me in.

I didn't want this.
The crying, the shame,
Everything I've gotten from you.
I didn't know this would happen.
I didn't know it could.

I regret to say
This isn't the first thing
I've written over your actions.
I can guarantee it won't be the last.
This is helping, some.

But I can swear to anyone,
Anyone who'll listen,
I won't be making this mistake
Ever again.
I learned my lesson this time.