Dear Putholi,
As requested, I'm commenting on your poem 'why I smoke? '
The basic idea of the poem is the title. And you have gone to narrate it by repeatation of some words.
Sometimes, this pay as an aliteration is created.or as a rhyming pattern.
But, here your statement doesn't suggest anydirection save and except in last two lines, that too in negatives.
Hope, you'll understand, try to use some metaphor or imageries to drive home your points, be it positive or negative.
The reader will want more. Otherwise it's a good effort.Rated accordingly.
Rajkumar
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Dear Putholi, As requested, I'm commenting on your poem 'why I smoke? ' The basic idea of the poem is the title. And you have gone to narrate it by repeatation of some words. Sometimes, this pay as an aliteration is created.or as a rhyming pattern. But, here your statement doesn't suggest anydirection save and except in last two lines, that too in negatives. Hope, you'll understand, try to use some metaphor or imageries to drive home your points, be it positive or negative. The reader will want more. Otherwise it's a good effort.Rated accordingly. Rajkumar