Yeah I've used to pray that I would die and that the pain would end cause it get unbearable sometimes and all you can do is cry and try to find ways to be numb from the pain and the little happiness you get might get. But from my experience it's better to feel something than to feel nothing and I hope that one day you find someone who cares like I found someone to just listen to me other than a therapist who you have to pay for them to listen to you.
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Yeah I've used to pray that I would die and that the pain would end cause it get unbearable sometimes and all you can do is cry and try to find ways to be numb from the pain and the little happiness you get might get. But from my experience it's better to feel something than to feel nothing and I hope that one day you find someone who cares like I found someone to just listen to me other than a therapist who you have to pay for them to listen to you.