Wednesday, May 28, 2008

While You Weren'T Looking Comments

Rating: 4.5

While you weren’t looking,
I was.
I was looking at you.
I was smiling at your smile.
...
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Stephen Carey
COMMENTS
Greenwolfe 1962 28 May 2008

Most poets will agree with this formula to instant success in poetry. Have a singular clear simple thought and drive it home with a repeated line. Hopefully one of uniqueness and merit. This line is not unique but it is meritorious. The formula is sound and does work here. The writing contained a bit of determined emotion that was communicated to the reader. This adds to the poems quality. Again, nothing special, but nothing to lessen the poem. A 9. GW62

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