When Sin Becomes Too Sweet To Quit Poem by Christen Kuikoua

When sin becomes too sweet to quit,
you stop fighting it.

You defend it.
You rename it.
You explain it away.

You say it is weakness.
You say it is hormones.
You say God understands.

But God does not bless what He calls sin.

Brothers and sisters, this is my confession.
Not a theory.
Not a sermon borrowed from another man.

I was young when pornography entered my life.
Too young to understand what it would cost me.
Old enough to know it was wrong.
One image turned into many.
Curiosity turned into habit.
Habit turned into hunger.
And before I knew it, not sinning felt unnatural.
That is the horror of it.

I would cry to God and say I will stop.
I would scream, 'Enough is enough.'
And hours later I would fall again.
Pray.
Sin.
Pray harder.
Sin again.

I loved God.
But I loved the pleasure too.
That is the truth no one wants to say.

My body was conditioned.
My mind was trained by images.
What my eyes saw, my flesh demanded.
And because I was raised to respect,
I did not act it out publicly.
So I turned inward.

I became the lab rat of my own rebellion.
Testing sin in secret.
Feeding an appetite I claimed I hated.
From pornography I fell into masturbation.
Not because someone forced me.
Because I chose it.

Let us stop pretending we are only victims.
We are also willing participants.

When sin becomes too sweet to quit,
you are no longer struggling.
You are enslaved.
And slavery does not feel like chains at first.
It feels like relief.
I would finish and feel empty.
Dry.
Ashamed.

I would ask God why do I want You
but crave what dishonors You.

I felt a void.
A dryness that pleasure could not satisfy.
A hunger that images could not fill.
That void was not only physical.
It was spiritual.
And I tried to fix a spiritual hunger
with physical sin.
It does not work.

I prayed to stop and still sinned.
I fasted and still sinned.
I cried and still sinned.

Until one day I stopped blaming temptation
and admitted something deeper.
I loved it.
That was the turning point.

When sin becomes too sweet to quit,
deliverance does not begin
with asking God to remove the temptation.
It begins with confessing
that you love what He hates.

I said God I do not just fall.
Part of me wants this.
And I hate that I want it.
That prayer was not pretty.
It was desperate.

Because the truth is this.
You cannot out-discipline a desire you still worship.
Only God can change your appetite.

When sin becomes too sweet to quit,
you need God to make it bitter.
And He will.
Not always instantly.
Not always drastically
But He will begin to expose it.
He will begin to remove the illusion.
He will begin to show you the cost.
The cost to your mind.
The cost to your purity.
The cost to your future marriage.
The cost to your intimacy with Him.
the very cost to your eternity.

Lust is not small.
It is not harmless.
It is not normal.
It is war against holiness.

My brothers and sisters, hear me clearly.
Lust will be one of your greatest battles.
It will stalk your thoughts.
It will hunt your loneliness.
It will whisper in the dark.
If you do not kill it, it will grow.

When sin becomes too sweet to quit,
repent.
Not casually.
publicly to brethrens
so they can pray for you.
Repent in truth.

Cry until you are tired of crying.
Pray until you are tired of praying.
Confess without excuses.
Say God I am wrong.
God I need help.
God I cannot save myself.
Because you cannot.
Only God can save a man from the love of sin.

Prayer unhooked me.
Prayer keeps unhooking me.
Prayer is still my weapon.
It not easy but persevere.
This is not a testimony of perfection.
It is a testimony of deliverance in progress.

God is holy.
And He said, 'Be holy because I am holy.'

Holiness is not optional.
It is not extreme.
It is not outdated.
It is the standard.

When sin becomes too sweet to quit,
you are standing at a crossroads.

You can protect the pleasure.
Or you can pursue righteousness.
You can defend your habit.
Or you can destroy it.
You can keep negotiating with darkness.
Or you can run into the light.

But do not deceive yourself.
God will not be mocked.

And yet, this is the glory.
The same God who judges sin
offers power to overcome it.
The same God who commands holiness
supplies grace to pursue it.
When I could not break myself free,
He began breaking the chains.

When I felt dry,
He became water.
When I felt empty,
He filled the void.

When sin becomes too sweet to quit,
do not surrender to it.
Surrender to God.

Let Him change your appetite.
Let Him rewire your mind.
Let Him make Himself sweeter
than the thing that once enslaved you.

To God be the glory
for conviction
for exposure
for deliverance
and for every chain that is still breaking.
Amen