What Me! – Exaggerate? Poem by john thomas

Two billion times I‘ve told you -
No, It’s probably three or four,
I know at least a thousand boys
Who’ve lost fingers in a door!

At school not one child in my class –
Had a finger on their hand,
Not one of them could find a job
And all were jailed or hanged!

I know at least ten million girls -
Whose pigtails trailed the ground,
Who whilst being careless near to ponds
Were grabbed by fish and drowned!

Old Mrs Smith – Aged a thousand and two -
Had one hundred backward sons,
The reason for their fateful plight?
They wouldn’t eat greens – Just buns!

Not one of them would eat a pip,
Never saw an apple or pear,
They all turned blind! – Their legs fell off!
Oh dear! I do despair.

Now you know me, ‘Honest as long’,
No lie would pass my lips,
But I know this man who went bright blue –
From too much salt on crisps!

There are boys with bellies full of worms –
From dirty finger nails,
And girls with Pinocchious noses
From telling lies and tales.

Now I know sometimes I do go on,
And can get quite irate,
But heed my words, you know they’re true,
What me? - Exaggerate!