Way Out West Of Wagga Comments
The train winds west from wagga
Me - sitting sweating from the sun
My swag up on the swaying rack
Now beholden to no-one.
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Great romantic poetry with a railway rhythm. So may I suggest to knock out 'with my' in the third line of the first verse and stick a comma before it, to keep the metre?
Good, could have flowed better, but I loved the subject and the title too.
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7/29/2025 9:01:16 PM # 1.0.0
Your changes helped the flow a whole lot, nice edit.