all your 3 strophes begin with I. it makes you very concentrated on your own - maybe sad feelings. try to write beginning with you - and depression will fly away!
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all your 3 strophes begin with I. it makes you very concentrated on your own - maybe sad feelings. try to write beginning with you - and depression will fly away!
I do see the repetition there. I felt it was intentionally concentrated to create the depth and cyclic pattern of sadness. Thanks for the feedback.