He tries to get some sleep
but his memories are carved in too deep
For the people he left behind
they're still wandering in his mind
...
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execllent concept however it is as if you a compressing a interesting idea into ill formulated ryhmes perhaps if it was written in prose style your message will be projected much more efficiently
This is a good poem! Have you copyrighted or published it? You should.
I quite like it the way it is. Except the spelling of too.