Walking By Windows Comments

oops! some of my first comment has a large section repeated. :) at least what is copied twice was complementary, not inflammatory! ! !

for me, the most curious line so far: An unseen pain on the husband's face, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - i did not know pulses were foods (legumes): i know now! and the use of shrugs? it is a great rhyme for drugs, but the wording of the line is leaving me not sure. is the husband shrugging his shoulders as he 'turns her out' to get money? will she have to go to the cigarette shop as well? ? my favorite stanza so far: The woman when saw me she was afraid, I gave her some money and also my shirt, My palms my feet all turned cold, Throats were dry I forgot my flirt. .......................WHO IS THIS GUY? ok, not God. hmmm? an angel? me? you? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - To a husband it was telling his wife, ..... the To is a 'problem' for me. if there was a comma after telling, i'd think the wife was telling it to the husband, it being that he should [like everybody else] take bribes when he is at work. right? ? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this stanza gave me a big, though brief, laugh at its ending. of course, it is 'sad' that they live in a society where money is tight and bribery is rampant, AND the husband says he is honest, BUT it is because he does not have the opportunity to be dishonest! ! ! ! ha! ! wonderful stanza, though 'sad', as i said before. of course, the U.S. has plenty of 'sad' stories as well, 'knock on wood'. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I climbed on a tree and jumped inside, ........this gave me a little laugh. i must admit, as a teenager, i once went through the window of an unoccupied house of a girl i went to school with. i was snooping, not stealing. i was on the property to mow their lawn and they were away. BUT while inside looking at girl's underwear, i thought i heard the garage door opening. i hid under the bed until i was sure no one had come home. then i got OUT! phew! ! ! ======================================== THIS IS A GREAT POEM SO FAR, AND i am pleased that you have offered it to be placed into my April Showcase on my PH site. :) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -==================== For me, the most curious line so far: An unseen pain on the husband's face, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - i did not know pulses were foods (legumes): i know now! and the use of shrugs? it is a great rhyme for drugs, but the wording of the line is leaving me not sure. is the husband shrugging his shoulders as he 'turns her out' to get money? will she have to go to the cigarette shop as well? ? my favorite stanza so far: The woman when saw me she was afraid, I gave her some money and also my shirt, My palms my feet all turned cold, Throats were dry I forgot my flirt. .......................WHO IS THIS GUY? ok, not God. hmmm? an angel? me? you? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - To a husband it was telling his wife, ..... the To is a 'problem' for me. if there was a comma after telling, i'd think the wife was telling it to the husband, it being that he should [like everybody else] take bribes when he is at work. right? ? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this stanza gave me a big, though brief, laugh at its ending. of course, it is 'sad' that they [YOU as well? ] live in a society where money is tight and bribery is rampant, AND the husband says he is honest, BUT it is because he does not have the opportunity to be dishonest! ! ! ! ha! ! wonderful stanza, though 'sad', as i said before. of course, the U.S. has plenty of 'sad' stories as well, 'knock on wood'. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I climbed on a tree and jumped inside, ........this gave me a little laugh. i must admit, as a teenager, i once went through the window of an unoccupied house of a girl i went to school with. i was snooping, not stealing. i was on the property to mow their lawn and they were away. BUT while inside looking at girl's underwear, i thought i heard the garage door opening. i hid under the bed until i was sure no one had come home. then i got OUT! phew! ! ! ======================================== THIS IS A GREAT POEM SO FAR, AND i am pleased that you have offered it to be placed into my April Showcase on my PH site. :) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - They were in mood of parking at me, ....parking? ? ? or barking? or killing? ! and the use of blow and zoom are new to me. Pakistani slang? ? - - - - - - - You old impotent I told you several times, To come with a friend at every weekend, .........this also caused me to laugh. well, a woman has to get it somehow! under wears here i would write underwear, but perhaps…….! The use of poetic license allowed anyway. i typed underwears at first but the computer underlined it. of course! for some reason we spell underclothing underwear, with no s. but we do use the word pants, with an “s”, for outerwear! Take a dress you like from the wardrobe, We are now friends, friends in deed, ....so the peeper is a she or a cross dresser, OR just too cold to care if he gets a dress or pants/trousers? or is dress used to denote clothing of any kind here? ? and i would use indeed, but in deed sounds ok i guess! - - - - - another favorite stanza: While he was knocking at the violent bed room, Darling! My friend is here see him if you can, I put on a dress jumped back to the lawn, As fast as I can to the gates I ran, ..........this is so good! at first i thought Did i write this one? then i remembered it is Akhtar's poem. ha ha GREAT RHYMING! ! ! well, it was nice [and honest] that you gave credit to Saadat Hassan Manto's short story Thanda Gosht, Cold Flesh) ! ! you put together a fine poem! i loved it. it shall go to MyPoemList. bri :)

He peeped inside a hut of the slum, A child was crying and asking her mother, Food, food, I am hungry, I am dying, You're careless and you don't bother Wow. This is a beautiful poem...such stark imagery...Thank you for sharing.

A very interestingwrite. Enjoyed reading it. I had read Mint's short story 'Thanda Gosht' long very long ago. I will try to read it again and seek inspiration myself.

Wow Enjoyed it...... best of Best! ! ! ! amazing one :) :) 10 on 10

wow! ! ! ....... i just loved this poem.... Best of Best! ! ! Enjoyed it.. Amazing.. :)

An evocative poem woven around a beautiful story. Enjoyed it thoroughly.

We all have problems whether were rich or poor it's how we manage to solve our problems and to live life to the full whatever happens in our life! Beautiful, creative write!

Great adventure! But peeping through others' window is not a good habit...... Your life can be in danger..... you are likely to be mistaken to be a robber or a cranky fellow.... Be cautious Akhtarji......(just teasing!) Very descriptive with beautiful rhyming! Enjoyed!

Beautiful poem Walking through different windows and each window had a different tale to tell. I loved reading each lines till the end. As i was passing through each window i could picturise it very well. It just reminded me of my childhood, where we used to listen to stories. Quite interesting. Loved each lines.

A heart touching poem......................10

Everyone has his own pains, a thoughtful poem...............10