Vision In The Night Revised Comments

W-O-W This the poem I have been waiting for many years! The poem possesses beautiful language, soulful emotions, measured rhythms, and it is possessed by a spirit of truth, the flesh of desire and confidence of hope. The woman in your poem experiences what John Keats called Adam's Dream, that is, when God put him in a deep sleep, he dreamed of Eve and awoke and found her in front of him. Dream plays a large role in Love, and your poem shows the interplay of the two of them. This poem has became in the course of several readings on this spring night in Minnesota one of my essential love poems. I am going to share it with those I KNOW will appreciate it. No cynics will mar its beauty, only true believers will be blessed by it. Let the exaltation begin!

a lov ely poem noreen

A beautiful close to a beautiful dream... or life's great drama! Let the curtain never fall and let the two souls bound in love walk hand in hand to eternity's brink! Enjoyed much! Though the second part is an interpolation, the poem looks a composite whole and I mildly differ from Bri Edward's well meaning comments!

The dream of all humanity becomes real, for some...

I want to mention here that i liked the comments of Geetha Jayakumar, Patricia Grantham, Anthony Di''anno, Pradip Chattopadhyay, Dinesh Nair, Dave Walker, Heather Wilkins and Bri Edwards (be ware of his watchful eyes!) . Thanks to you all for the lovely comments.

I have read only the revised poem, didn't read it earlier. Had I not read the 'Poet's Notes', I would have thought this to be one single poem, a well narrated story. But now I think, as does Bri Edwards, that 'the first verse could well have stood alone' However, both the verses are excellent. The last two lines are an embodiment of two 'love lit' souls and their souls' emotions.

i especially enjoyed the lines: Her heart beating rapidly like the wings of a caged bird, whose flight has been brought to a terrible end. He smiles a smile so sweet her muscle and sinew melt. Becoming liquid and pliable as he draws her to him. shall i assume she is dying to go with him and he is already departed? ? ? i wondered why she was sometimes capitalized...but not always. hmmmm? a very well told story indeed. enjoyed it. thanks for the poem and the poet note. i think the first verse could well have stood alone. BUT the second verse, added to the first, makes for a meatier story and doesn't leave the audience wondering. i don't like to have to wonder; i like things spelled out for me! thanks Noreen AND Dave. thanks for sharing. if you want some minor constructive? criticism, let me know and i will try to fit you into my criticism pile of poets-to-criticize...............but will send in a private PH message. i've already been chastised by one PH poet for criticizing in a comment. i stand chastised, with head hanging. :)) oh heck. i'll send this to MyPoemList.

a beautiful work Noreen both are nice this could very well be tow different poems.

Beautiful poem Noreen. In fact I liked your both the poems...loved it.

A great add on to the poem, when I said a follow up I meant another poem, but this has turned out pretty well. A great write.

A great poem, you could do a really great follow up to this.

A vision that is more than a dream it was! A beautiful write that sounds optimistic about relations.

The dividing line is blurred. Nice poem, Noreen.

A nightmare noted, very well done. A great vision. Thank you

this is a very effective write. Makes the reader believe it could have been a vision.

A poem of great intensity and feelings. I can relate to this poem about dreams and visions. Some things we can explain and some things we can't. Nice write.

Wow. Wonderful poem..It was thrilling to read all the lines...Confusion lines are beautiful..Should he step into her world or She into his....Wonderful..Loved the way you wrote....

Gave me goosebumps! Iike the line 'Should he step into her world, or she into his'. You might like my poem 'Enigma of the Knight'