river of tears floated my fears
to an unknown place where no one could hear
zero worth shouting for, so many eyes were there
sailed in screaming
...
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You write English well. I don't know if this is supposed to have like a 'rap' beat
feel to it or not, but it has a freshness and vitality. You could ease up on the rhyming some (but who am I to say that to anybody, hehe)
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You write English well. I don't know if this is supposed to have like a 'rap' beat feel to it or not, but it has a freshness and vitality. You could ease up on the rhyming some (but who am I to say that to anybody, hehe)