Sunday, June 19, 2011

Virtual Insanity Comments

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river of tears floated my fears
to an unknown place where no one could hear
zero worth shouting for, so many eyes were there
sailed in screaming
...
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Talal Athar
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Patti Masterman 20 June 2011

You write English well. I don't know if this is supposed to have like a 'rap' beat feel to it or not, but it has a freshness and vitality. You could ease up on the rhyming some (but who am I to say that to anybody, hehe)

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Talal Athar

Talal Athar

Islamabad, Pakistan
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