Veiled Comments

Fantastic. Extremely well penned...5 stars

Oh lovely bride Why do you hide Those tears That swell beneath your eyes Why do you Cover up those sorrows With your smile Why do you choke youself With your muffled sobs........so touching and impressive. The farewel time for a bride has been astutely and incisively delineated. A marvellous poem is amazingly shared.

Dreaming a romantic future ahead, a bride needs a veil to hide her pink smiles, Leaving the marvellous years of her life behind, a bride needs a veil to hide her tears.

bharati, this poem made me feel the intensity of life transitions- which all of us experience over and over; they are often difficult. in this case a big one- the entering into marriage. what a threshold to cross! and perhaps more intensely in this case because the bride knows little of the man she is being wed to... the fear of the unknown. ironic that often we get bored with the known, want to break out, but then faced with it... hoping this finds you well in all ways, glen

the first stanza makes me (almost) wish i were/was the groom! - - - - - - - - - - the 2nd stanza: The music of band party.............there may be a band party name/phrase i am unfamiliar with. i would think party band Signal the arrival of bridegroom you are waiting................i would use...are awaiting or....are waiting for. i won't change it unless you ask/tell me to change it. ;) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - it does not bother me that you leave out some punctuation, but there are times (in other poems on PH) when it has caused me to wonder what is being said. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3rd stanza: Why do you choke youself With your muffled sobs ..........ooops! one small typo here. i plan to correct it (for showcasing) unless you say no! . ha ha favorite lines so far: Why do you douse your burning chest With your smile, that you know is a masquerade? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 4th stanza: As you know There won't be an occasion When you can cry To your heart's fill Nor can you smile To your heart's desire. ...........i'd guess you mean there won't be an occasion once she is married! ! ! oh, wicked men! ! .....................................................i'm the man in our household, but my mate STILL wears the pants (usually) . ; ( ha ha ........................................................btw (by the way) i usually don't spell occasion correctly the first time. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 5th stanza: YIKES! ! ! ! an arranged marriage? i pity you gals who are forced to do that, but i've heard that some (many?) of them work out well enough. am i correct? and how about you? and whatever 'class' of Indians you are part of? hmmmm? yes, i'm nosy; i won't tell. ====================== i will gladly include this fine poem in Section A of October's 'a showcase for PH poets'. this poem shall be #10 of the 15 poems planned for A. once i've read your second submitted poem, i'm sure it will join second poems submitted for Section B. :) i plan to correct 'yourself'. thanks. too depressing perhaps for MyPoemList? bri :) p.s. i did not notice the moment of joy which Valsa mentioned in her comment, below.

yes, the poem's subject fits, but it is too long (for the book we have to limit the poems to 25 lines)

Oh lovely bride Let your tears flow Let them flow Till you drain them all As you know There won't be an occasion When you can cry To your heart's fill Nor can you smile To your heart's desire. You suggest a perfect moment and perfect occasion to shed the tear to the hearth's content. Lovely theme. Many among us veil their pains and tears till some worthy and compassionate heart listens them. Thanks for sharing the poem.10 for it. Subhas

yes, especially if is arranged marriage you surely don't know your fate..... very sad

Cry, cry, till You pour them all Before you give Final burial To those tears, which are real And say bye To those dreams Wishes, laughter and love That you conceal In your heart Before you proceed To the fate unknown. a picture of indian arranged marriages........ sometimes for a westerner unthinkable. without knowing the man of woman, just after seeing once or twice in the midst of the relatives, you go in..into an unknown world. whatever comes, you have to suffer. marriages in the modern era is a big question.. you hve pointed out all these in your beautiful poem. thank you. tony

a wonderful depiction of Indian bride and her last moments in her parents' home... leaving the world known and welcoming the unknown.... nice one!

Yes, marriage for a girl is a plunge into an unknown fate! It uproots her into a totally new soil! In most of the brides, it will be a time of anxiety and tension, also the pain of parting from everything dear to her! So it is natural for her to get her eyes welled with tears! Also the dreams about a new life awaiting her will make her eyes sparkle with expectation and fresh hopes! So it is a moment of joy too! You have brought in the two antagonistic feelings that overwhelm a bride. A remarkable write and a 10

Wonderful depiction about a bride that touches the heart intensely. Stunning expression. Thanks for sharing......10

Touching drop. The scene floats before the eyes when the bride is given the farewell. So real.