Urban Foxes Poem by Mary Champion

There's a fox on the bus.
It just strolled on -
nonchalant.
Took a seat at the front.
Didn't even show its Oyster Card.
Waved its brush in the air.
Offered no fare.
The driver said
'You - fox - hey!
You have to pay.
No cash mind.
Card or smart phone,
You should've known.'
But the fox on the bus
ignored the fuss.
Stared out the windows-
observing traffic flows.

Some girls giggled.
Some boys sniggered.
A woman screamed.
A bolshie bloke in a suit
put the boot in -
so it bit him.
Driver radioed in
above the din
'There's a fox on the bus
causing a fuss.
What'll I do? '

'Call the cops! '

There are cops on the bus.
They stormed on -
bullet-proof vests on,
protected from bites.
Read the fox its rights.
But it spoke no English.
Another illegal
escaping upheaval.
They called for an interpreter,
but there wasn't one.
That's dumb!

There's a fox on the bus.
There are cops on the bus.
There's a driver-
sole survivor.
No passengers!

The fox on the bus
began to suss
it was not welcome.
But it's not welcome anywhere.
Past caring,
it was cool with that.
Settled down for a nap.

The marksman took aim.
Seems such a shame,
but the bus company
has a schedule to maintain
and targets to attain.
Can't risk knocking chunks off its
profits.

There's no fox on the bus.
No cops on the bus.
Just a corpse

Now the Fox Preservation Society
is up in arms.
No qualms
about foxes on buses.
Can't see what the fuss is.
They've got a new aim -
a Facebook campaign -
Equal Rights for foxes,
free rides
and great strides
in fox welfare.

***

There's a fox in A & E.
Did you see?
Just strolled in with its kin
looking thin.
All nonchalant.
Took their seats at the front
of the triage queue.
Like they knew what to do.

Muttered complaints,
but nobody faints.
Out foxed by a fox,
they call out the cops.
‘Course they must!
Replay the scene on the bus
on the frontline.
Only this time,
the foxes are armed.
Be alarmed!