Monday, June 8, 2009

Unwanted Love Comments

Rating: 5.0

Penetrating shard’s of her invading my very sole,
Never granted access to the part that makes her whole,
My ecstasy from her merest touch,
Relinquished pride hurting me so much,
...
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Samantha chapman
COMMENTS
Ellen Saunders 13 June 2009

I really liked this one! Very passionate, lovely ^.^ Ending is a tinyyyy bit of a let down though.: P I think a nice subtle, less blatant one would have held more power (no offense! ! !) . However, blatancy can work well for a bear-all, heart-on-sleeve type of writing - so that can be good for you :) . But again, it was really, really good and i liked it ^.^ keep it up! !

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