Whenever I have seen that the died fish
Thrown on the shore from their own sea
Or the webbers in their own web finished
And the fellows by themselves their soul did flee
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Ata kaey sangu tumhaala? This is one of the best debut poem I had come across... You write so smooth... hmmm... talented, yes! Your use of the imagery is just perfect.... Please do not mind my saying this but a little bit of rhyming could make that heaven of a difference to the outlook of this poem. A 9 for you here.
Baba - what beautiful imagery you portray in this your first poem on the site. Keep writing... take care. Joey
A perfect and a beautiful poem with compassion! This predicts a long poetical journey.
i m lucky that i atleast got the opportunity to read this poem...otherwise i would have been deprived of such a beautiful and soothing poem. i give u a 9 for this...not 10 because everything cannnot be perfect...but the poem would be worth 10 if it had kinda rhyme scheme or such effects. but the poem stands perfect for it's meaning. keep going, Lubna
Such a beautiful poem.....I truly admire your style of writing! My favourite lines: 'Upon whom I have dared and shied as bride And played with her faultfull game On my promptness like bird of monsoon And tremble the promises given to my beloved one In her beautiful eyes forever to hide ' ....Keep up the great writing! A 10 from the Donster - Dona Sharma -
a good poem with asweeter ending... On my promptness like bird of monsoon And tremble the promises given to my beloved one In her beautiful eyes forever to hide...................