Unseen Scars That Spill My Confessions Poem by Kellyn, A Grau

Something triggered my train of thought, bringing me back to that one pleasant night
My heart fluttered when you held me so tight
That I thought I could keep you with all my might
The sorrow returns when I awake to see your no where around
What did I do to loose you like this? Why is there such an ache in my heart?
The thoughts draw back to the first time we met
My eyes fill with tears as I remember the first embrace
The one with your lips glued upon mine, such bliss I felt
Each time I grasped you in my arms my heart surged with such unspoken emotion
The pain of knowing someone has stolen my place
Breaks my heart a little more each day
Because reality is finally sinking in that you're not with me
I look away as the clock strikes 2 am
The tears build up as I think about how I feel
How real my emotions are for you
How much it tears me apart to know I could never have you
Destiny is such a funny thing really
Leads us to find love and become destroyed once again
This isn't the first time that I was broken over love
Perhaps its just not meant for me to find, maybe it should find me
Because hope is diminishing quickly and I just don't think I can cope
People ask me why I am so broken?
Why I am so confused?
What am I so afraid of that holds me back from love?
Why do I feel so scared of loosing you?
I tell them because my heart has gained so my scars that it's unbearable to fall again
I don't know if I could survive another heartache and I'm scared to try
So to help ease everyone's lingering thoughts on all those simple questions
I am a cowered, a full blown cowered who is scared to love
Because I am scared of rejection or being broken all over again
So forgive me if I seem so cold and distant
Forgive me if I let no one break the ice away from my heart
Maybe I want to be cold, maybe I want to be blind
Its better than seeing how much I love you but knowing
Deep in my heart that no matter how much I love you
Or how much I try to show you, I'll always be left with out you
I'm sorry that misery has become my master
It will shackle me away and steal my poor mangled soul
So wave good-bye to me as I throw away all hopes of this
I'll give up simply and give into my fears
I've spelt to many tears to be this strong, maybe its time for me to crumble
Maybe its time for you to know the truth
That even though I love you I'd do anything for you to be happy
Even if that means a life time of suffering for me
So to let you know I already know this will break me, I already know how much I'll cry
But a heart can't be broken completely can it?