Unenlightened Comments

nice write. I like your perspective on this one

Tiffany, as a teenage writer, you are light years ahead of your competition. I really liked your delightful poem/prose, and thought you handled the mixing of the two well. Also, the ancient with the present was a nice touch. You write with such conviction. Thanks!

Finished your poem/prose Unenlightened, And then read other's comments. I have to agree with what was said, you have a very good write here, part poem, part prose. Your ability to draw the reader in is well done, and I was pleased when I finished. I enjoyed this write very much, and I know you have talent. Not much to tear apart on this one, just go with it as you write, and your natural voice will kick in and take over....taking your words to new places aqnd new feelings, new highs and lows... Very Good write Tiffany! I look forward to reading more! -Kelly.

Wow, that was amazing! It sent chills up my spine. That is one epic poem :)

Well, it was very good, but I could not understand the theme of this poem. I could not tell if I was reading a horror, romance, life changing, etc. poem. You have to pick a certain theme/genre for a poem before you just type it down. Otherwise it was good :)

Please take the prose comment as a compliment, i want to know what happens next. You draw people in. X

Great sinsitivity in it. I can feel the dark story in the poem but it can use editoral help but great poem :)

You can write however if I was you I'd write prose. I think with some editorial help you write successful books. Samantha.

The message of transcendence always immament. U have a lot of room in u. Once again i'l welcome ur comments on my poetry.tanx for d invite.

Nice work. I started seeing scenes of darkness as i went through the lines. Beautiful.

The first thing my poetry teacher told me was to never start a poem, short story or book with a weather forecast. If you read any of my poetry you'll see I completely ignore him. I dig on this. Kinda Poe kinda CS Lewis. Would love to see more. Thankfully you left it open ended for the reader to journey - or for you to return. Matty