Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Undying Love Comments

Rating: 4.5

As I looked upon her, the hourglass tipped
And I knew my time was running out.
I lay there, thinking of all the things I could've said,
Somehow, missing the one thing I wished to say.
...
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Andrew D Robertson
COMMENTS
Richard D. Remler 27 April 2010

slipped into the darkness screaming words that never left your mouth. Ouch. I'd have ended up with a limp. Were you standing or laying? A little confused here. An interesting read though. Could probably use a rewrite, but so could everything I've ever scribbled down on a sheet of paper. Thanks for sharing. As always, Keep Writing.

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Andrew D Robertson

Andrew D Robertson

Orange, California
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