Twist With Love Comments

. John, this text layout is much more appealing to the Poet, in us all. Your descriptions are great.You tell a sad story, but, (whew!) ....... with a Happy Ending! Deanna xx

Even better now the lines are more consistent. Well done sir.

The content is good here but I agree it would be better a better read with the verses lined up.... Alison

Yes, this is rather beat influenced only with rhyme. It has this prose feeling and the visaul presentation neatly sums up the disjointed life of your narrator at first. For the part where he finds happiness, it may be an idea to line the verses up, to show the change from chaos to fulfillment. A fascinating, rewarding poem, though.

Great poem! What I really like is that the reader experiences the full range of emotion.

. John, initially, you painted a Portrait of Despair. Then came, the Happy Ending! (I'm glad!) .....Great story, told very well. Evokes the emotions of the reader. This style of writing is unique for poemhunter.com. I would like to see this Prose-Like Form fragmented into verses or have each sentence.. lined up - (one, right after the other) - according to the 'rhyming words'. If you do this fragmenting, message me and I'll re-review. Cheers! Deanna .