Troubled Mind © 11/4/09 Comments

On the third line Bein should be begin. In the first stanza the first four lines go together then the last two. In the other stanzas its the first three lines then the last three. I think the third stanza third and fourth lines could run together better and not seem like two seperate things. Maybe something like this: Across your face, as you remarked upon, Thats about all I could think of.