Trial-Haiku-2 Comments
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A magnificent haiku dear poetess... extremely well penned.5 stars and to my favourites.
I am no expert on the writing of Haiku. I know mine do not have that special nuance... flavor... otherworldliness of the masters of the style. I think this piece has that blend of natural events with a comparison or contrast with a human event. I vote you continue writing Haiku, you definitely have that delicate touch.
A wonderful Haiku dear madam! Thanks for sharing............10
A beautiful haiku with fantastic expression. I loved reading it. Thanks for sharing.10
Beautiful and insightful. I like the way you captured the setting sun. Thanks for sharing.
that's ok.. the edited version of your haiku has been accepted for the compilation: '' red sun dips in sea crabs run waving their pincers - town sleeps to silence ''
the syllabic pattern is correct and the images are clear. toriawase is well expressed in the juxtaposition ''crabs running at sunset / town silencing itself'' Yet ''crab with pincers'' is not the best expression.. all crabs have got pincers (big or small ones) . Better something like: ''Crabs run waving their pincers''
why trial.....yours is the real haiku....town sleeps to silence.......a quotable sentence...10 marks to you full...
Thank you so much for your encouragement.You are an inspiration to others.
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7/23/2025 5:04:51 AM # 1.0.0
So much happens in the natural world that many of us miss! Thanks for sharing a great poem! !