Sunday, May 15, 2016

Trial- Haiku-1 Comments

Rating: 4.9


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Bharati Nayak
COMMENTS
LeeAnn Azzopardi 30 July 2022

I love the first line with climate change it seems like it Bravo!

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Dr Dillip K Swain 30 July 2022

Wonderful three-liner... appreciated. Top score!

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Ranjan Kumar Ghosh 12 December 2017

Breaking rude stillness.thanks madame for your lovely poem shearing 10++++++++++

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Glen Kappy 13 June 2017

bharati, i feel it! and the pigeon's coo breaks the rude stillness of oppressive heat. the coo is cool. i'm liking your tanka and haiku. glen

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Chinedu Dike 17 January 2017

Lovely haikus. Insightful and well articulated. Thanks for sharing.

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Queeny Gona 14 November 2016

This is wonderful haiku Mam. I loved the theme of the write mam.

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Queeny Gona 14 November 2016

Wow. I am trying to write an haiku long since but then scared to give my first try!

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Fabrizio Frosini 19 May 2016

dear Bharati, the edited version you sent me is much better, but you should take 'rude' away: '' Summer sun burns hot Pigeons coo under a roof Breaking stillness '' Cheers F.

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Fabrizio Frosini 16 May 2016

well, the syllabic pattern is ok [= it would be 'not correct' for American English, but correct for British English..* :) But 'sun spewing fire' in Summer is an interpretation.. the sun -being a star- is just the same - not changing through the seasons ;) we should avoid any 'interpretation' when writing classical haiku

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Donnie Wolff 16 May 2016

Those rude pigeons. already known the the beauty you create in that pen of yours

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Donnie Wolff 16 May 2016

I know in reverse of your write. The stillness perhaps the reason of such wonderful words. But if it is the pigeons NYC shall inspire you beyond your dreams. :)

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Bharati Nayak 16 May 2016

Thank you for your lovely comments.It makes me wonder whether it is stillness or pigeon that made me write and attract great poets to read my poem.

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Subhas Chandra Chakra 15 May 2016

Summer sun spews fire Pigeons coo under a roof Breaking rude stillness. Thank you ma'am for breaking the poetic stillness through this Haiku, a touch of loneliness shadows this poem. Poets of your cadre should try Haiku's..so that a new era would dawn soon. I was waiting to read a poem since long. 10 for it. Thank you for sharing the poem.Subhas

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Bharati Nayak 16 May 2016

The beauty of your words just overwhelm me.Thank you very much for the inspiration.

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Sekharan Pookkat 15 May 2016

wings spread wide beaks open slowly tongue moves hastily

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Bharati Nayak 15 May 2016

Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem.Pigeons are lovely sight in hot summer days.

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