Trial- Haiku-1 Comments
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Breaking rude stillness.thanks madame for your lovely poem shearing 10++++++++++
bharati, i feel it! and the pigeon's coo breaks the rude stillness of oppressive heat. the coo is cool. i'm liking your tanka and haiku. glen
Lovely haikus. Insightful and well articulated. Thanks for sharing.
This is wonderful haiku Mam. I loved the theme of the write mam.
Wow. I am trying to write an haiku long since but then scared to give my first try!
dear Bharati, the edited version you sent me is much better, but you should take 'rude' away: '' Summer sun burns hot Pigeons coo under a roof Breaking stillness '' Cheers F.
well, the syllabic pattern is ok [= it would be 'not correct' for American English, but correct for British English..* :) But 'sun spewing fire' in Summer is an interpretation.. the sun -being a star- is just the same - not changing through the seasons ;) we should avoid any 'interpretation' when writing classical haiku
Those rude pigeons. already known the the beauty you create in that pen of yours
I know in reverse of your write. The stillness perhaps the reason of such wonderful words. But if it is the pigeons NYC shall inspire you beyond your dreams. :)
Thank you for your lovely comments.It makes me wonder whether it is stillness or pigeon that made me write and attract great poets to read my poem.
Summer sun spews fire Pigeons coo under a roof Breaking rude stillness. Thank you ma'am for breaking the poetic stillness through this Haiku, a touch of loneliness shadows this poem. Poets of your cadre should try Haiku's..so that a new era would dawn soon. I was waiting to read a poem since long. 10 for it. Thank you for sharing the poem.Subhas
The beauty of your words just overwhelm me.Thank you very much for the inspiration.
Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem.Pigeons are lovely sight in hot summer days.
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7/22/2025 7:11:32 PM # 1.0.0
I love the first line with climate change it seems like it Bravo!