Trapped In My Own Mind Part 5 Poem by joshua reid

I'm broken and beaten in a world that's so cold,
Living my mistakes over and over again as my story is told,
creeping through my soul lurking through the darkness,
Grabbing a hold of my body the fear starts to compress,
Misfortunes and lies told over and over again,
I forgot where it ended...if it even started to begin,
Sometimes I wonder if I ever existed,
If my life was given to me, or it I were enlisted,
For every happyness comes a misfortune,
For every gift of appreciation comes a giving of obligation,
You can always learn to forgive but to never forget,
Learning to live your life, no matter what you regret,
Then one day as you're sitting alone it haunts you,
Reminding you of all that you've done and everything you've gone through,
Oh the pain begins to bubble from deep inside your soul,
Until you realize that the badness becomes a part of you, a hole,
When eventually your body begins to fade into the midnight air,
A world of enchantment, not necissarily light, but a feeling of despair,
Like a record player over and over inside of your head,
the pain hurting so badly wishing you were dead,
Soon you feel your entire self start to shiver,
your legs become weak and your body starts to quiver,
Sweat starts to pour, yet you're colder then hell,
you're circulation starts to cut off and your neck starts to swell,
the breathing begins to cease yet no one is around,
If I were to die tonight screaming....would you even hear a sound?