it screams out so much sadness and pain, regret and need for love. very powerfull
only thing i would say is that it might be too simple in terms of its language.
try more imagery, dont be afraid to use your imagination and paint us images with metaphors and similes to understand and feel the emotions more... :)
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it screams out so much sadness and pain, regret and need for love. very powerfull only thing i would say is that it might be too simple in terms of its language. try more imagery, dont be afraid to use your imagination and paint us images with metaphors and similes to understand and feel the emotions more... :)