Together Poem by Jackie Hughes

what am I supposed to
do with this fear that
as I draw nearer
you won't be here or
you'll be one with the stars as you always
dreamed of
but never achieved cause
I held you back
I put my foot on your cape
not letting you escape
so I could keep you close
lock you in my memories
tucked in right next to my heart
not leaving you or letting you leave too
cause I don't got nobody else
I ain't got nobody who calls me baby
I ain't got nobody to hold my hand
even though I swear I don't need you
you saw straight through my crusty exterior
to the scared child interior
and just smiled real sweet like
as you took my hand like
and whispered "I ain't going nowhere baby"
but I knew deep down what you longed for
it's what I was scared for
but you just let me close
you must've felt like I was choking you
never letting you go too far from my greedy grasp
as you would stare up at your dreams
floating past your head
I would hold up mine
trying to live under the crushing
sense that I was crushing you
but I couldn't let you leave me
you were the only one who got me through it
I didn't realize I held a shell
an empty body without a pilot
cause you had left a long time ago
you had floated away a while ago
to your spot in the stars with
heroes and saints as your companions
but by the time I saw this
I couldn't help this
it was over
you were gone
now I'm all alone
now
feeling really scarred
now
but at least I know you watching me
I'm trying to move on but
something is so wrong cause
you're not here no more
some say that they live in your heart
but my heart ain't no place worth livin' in
it's a place for dying in cause
aint nothing live in there no more
all I have is the skeletons from my closet
now hangin' like medals of disgrace
there ain't no room for you behind my secrets
so I guess I've really lost you
my hand is empty and my hear is too without you
but maybe I can keep a little piece of you
in the twinkle of my eye
or
the strength of my voice
or the way your smile could dazzle even God
yes, maybe just a small part can hide
with all my horrors
brighten the gray in my soul
and keep the darkness at bay
you may have left me
but you never really
did cause
I got you
just a piece of you
to keep close to my cold heart
that it might start beating
with that age old rhythm that I seemed to have lost
between here and well there
that I might move forward
but not move on cause
I don't wanna move on from you
but on with you
cause anywhere worth going is with you
so ill strap you in the passenger
seat- but your more than that to me
and take you along on my adventure forward
toward something we don't ever know what
but always toward
always together