To My Man (Portrait) Comments

BREAKING NEWS! ! Valsa is again providing " Add this poem to MyPoemList" . it is just after your poem. i discovered the good news on another poet's site. and now yours actually is ON the PH-provided list. bri :)

3 – line 45 sanguine “adjective1. optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation.” I like it, and the “sanguine self” alliteration Line 47 taint less OR taintless? Last four stanzas are “touching”, or “romantic”. Very nice. Is the story TRUE? To MyPoemList Bri :)

2 - line 36 " I found him differ from the man I dreamt" How about " he differed" , or " him different" ? stanzas 10 & 11 are my favorites so far ;) (cont.)

1 - line 8 maybe delete " his" line 9 " would" what? line 12 ravishing " delightful; entrancing" NICE! ME? line 20 i found a poker game hand reference to " nut draw" but perhaps in India " chest nut draw" refers to a brassiere? line 32 " lose" your mind or composure? . (cont.)

Its really a portrait of dreams and life, fantasy and truth. Its natural to dream about our life partner, especially in our teens. To make our minds content with what God gifts is love and life. Great vision on life!

Either within a moving train, Or sometimes in an elite gang, Who derailed my thoughts in pensive mood, And tickled my fancy to heave and sigh........nice flow. Beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing.

Valsa, we always wonder who we will meet to spend our life with.. Childish whims are there to build for the future. There is not much we do when young that we cannot learn from. A very well built write that shows how we grow into love.++10 Robert

Elusive ever to sight and touch! ! Thanks for sharing this poem with us.

What a beautiful poem! A girl's fancy in contrast with reality. God has his ways. He answers our prayers and wishes in a different ways. Initially, we might be dismayed. But His plans always work as it happened in your case. Wish you all marital felicity all the time. (10)

Wonderful poem, a journey from our teenage dreams to our mature wisdom, the hazy portrait of our dream man changing till we find our wisdom to see the qualities of the real man in life.Very nicely presented the poem is an absolute beauty.

Oh! I forgot to write that I liked your poem and enjoyed it a lot and now face its consequence by reading a long and boring comment.

That is not the story of a particular person. We all make an image of our ideal life partner during our teen age During my teen age I cut into pieces many girls and movie stars brutally. Took Hair from Sharmila Tagore, eyes from Suchitra Sen, lips from Saira Bano, and many other things from Sadhna, Asha Parekh, and my college mates, etc., etc.But when a creeper embraced and encircled me the image was magically changed within a very short period. After reading your poem I tried to recollect that brutally made image but I failed. The image of truth and reality when makes its room in our brains the past is only sometimes recollected in dreams when our conscious is sleeping.

Wow~ I love this! Its like taking the journey from dating and having unfinished warped perceptions of who a person is, to marrying them, living with them, and loving the real them. That's an amazing thing to find in a poem! Also I love this idea of the unfinished portrait being replaced with the real solid figure himself. This is simply beautiful to read. Its not something I've experienced, but reading this poem makes me want to! ~Nika

This poem is honest, down to earth. I liked what Shahzia Batool described as 'a fusion of romance & realism' and the ease with which you made the fusion. 'And the old portrait locked within, Grew so musty, bereft of use, In its place, I keep within, His solid figure in indelible print.' Sweet and beautiful.

A fusion of romance & realism, and... a Must Read for all the girls in teens! ! !