, To Be Me Poem by Louise Tredoux

I wish I could change myself, become more
rational and shove love out of my life, set my
beloved free to a life at sea and find my goal
in an administrative job, enjoy being ordinary,
not plagued by fantasies and strange feelings,
but since I can’t change just like that, I’m waiting
for Rudi’s call, dreaming about him, hearing his
voice, realizing I have no other choice – at this
point in time- but to enjoy loving him; without
him life loses all colour and taste, all meaning
and beauty; to be me, I have to continue loving
Rudi, wherever he be, whatever marine projects
take his fancy – and I believe wholeheartedly,
he will always come back to me...