Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Title Yet To Be Discovered (Part 4) Comments

Rating: 5.0

I hurriedly made my way back behind the counter and found what I was looking for, a door. As I opened it the chorus of barking beasts reached the front entrance. I could hearthem struggling against the reinforced window, jumping as canines will and using their front paws as a sort of battering ram. I had some trust in the boarded over window, but not much. Time was of the essence.
I grabbed the heap of dead clerk from behind the cash register and was able to lug him inside of the back room before closing and locking the door behind me. There was a light switch on the right hand side of the door. Half to my surprise this did illuminate the room and fill it with the buzz of old fluorescent lighting. I did some exploring and quickly found everything I wanted. I'm not sure where the plan came from, only that it had came, and the idea of it playing out brought a wicked smile to my lips.

Dismembering the clerk was a nasty business, but this guy was at least my size and maybe bigger. If you've never carried true dead weight then the term doesn't mean a lot to you, but I was of above average strength and it was everything I could muster even to get him to the stairs, let alone up them. So, using a bladed end of my club I spent a minute or two hacking off either leg at about the mid thigh, all the while trying to drown out the butchery by focusing on the voices of the ravenous mutts still trying to gain entry into the store. These limbs and the other items I'd chosen went along with me up the stairs, two flights and then through another door. Just as I'd expected, stepping outside of this door landed me on the flat asphalt roof. I peered over the edge of the wall and saw the dogs, now with a full-on shiny puddle of drool below the pack of them at the thought of making me their next meal.
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COMMENTS
Wes Vogler 23 March 2016

I would have sort of liked to see him in a display case for a while. The ol hidden door huh? Molotov cocktail was good. Looking forward to/the next (you Put a lot of character into a man that was dead five minutes later. I suspect he may survive after all and maybe become a sidekick. Dragged into the shelter and survived? (by the girl .. later a rival) (I will stop this because being a young fellow you will always have to do anything but suggestions.) good story very readable. thank you

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Kelly Kurt 22 March 2016

Keep a notepad by your bed and your smart phone with you at all times to record any thought. You probably do have a good outline in your imagination of where you want to go (forward and backward) but details are important and some can flicker bright but disappear without warning. You have devolved Ian step by step to fit into his devolved world. It will be interesting to see how far he goes and if it is beyond return.

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Mike Smith 22 March 2016

Yes this installment was a gruesome depiction of his digression away from the morals of a more peaceful time. Ian's got plenty of story yet to tell, time will show how he handles the weight of his situation

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