Wednesday, June 1, 2005
Timesong 18 Just A Moment? Comments
Rating: ★0.0
Hum-ho
Thus and so
At the turn of the world revolve
Both night and day
...
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Stewart McKenzie
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9/5/2025 2:59:16 AM # 1.0.0
In my opinion, the first two lines are off-puting...sort of light and not in the same tone as the rest of your poem. Your images are nice and your ideas in this poem are thoughtful and deep. I particularly like the last two lines. Nice...but do get rid of the first two lines! Raynette