Time Poem by Persephone Springs

As I wait at the bus stop, a young fellow approaches me
“Do you have the time ma’am? ”
I ignore him and look straight ahead, because if I speak I won’t be able to hold it in
“Ma’am? ”
He steps directly in front of me, and before I can stop myself, I have my eyes trained on his
Everything about them is familiar
I can even see the small streaks of blue in the hazel that had made me feel safe with him so many years ago
And as he looks at me now, with deep concern in his eyes, I can pretend that he is the same as before
Like how his eyes would pull down at the edges when I cried because he hated it when I wasn't happy
And in the 8 seconds that have just passed I can see the realization of who I am flicker across his dilated pupils
I need to ask ‘why? ’
I want to be angry
But all I do is take out my phone and say “Half past twelve”
And he can’t even look at me as he mumbles “Thank you” and asks for a dollar
And when he asks for that dollar, something inside of me shatters, and then ignites a flame
Of all the things to say
Of all the things to ask
Of all the things to apologize for…
But I can’t waste this moment being angry with him
So I pull out a twenty with a shaking hand
But as I go to place it in his hand, his fingers intertwine with mine and I look up just in time to be trapped in his gaze
Trapped in his gaze that whispers soft ‘I love you’’s and sincere apologies
And it is in this moment that he says “Thank you” and I know that it isn’t just for the money
Suddenly I am wrapped in memories of us, and how we were before he sold his soul to the streets
We stand like this, just staring at one another for a moment, and then the bus pulls up and he releases me
And right before he walks away, he plants a butterfly kiss on my forehead and leaves, for what seems like the thousandth time
And for what seems like the thousandth time, I want to tell him how much I miss him
I want to tell him how much I miss his comforting touch
I want to tell him how much his absence has changed our mother
I wan to tell him that no matter how high he gets, he still won’t make it to heaven
But I just get on the, and let the lone tear run down my cheek
And I wait for the day when I am waiting at the bus stop when a young fellow approaches me
“Do you have the time ma’am? ”