Tick- Tock, Wretched Watch(A Fantasy) Comments
Jeremy often would daydream
Of going back in a time machine
Young widower, who'd lost his wife
Would wish to bring her back to life.
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Such an engaging topic for me, as I have two watches, one silver the other gold-plated. I wish that time would either stop or go backwards, as happened to your character, Jeremy; he is more complex than most characters in poetry, I think. Very assured use of four-lined stanzas that still shout and whisper.
Just be sure, Michael, not to accidentally drop or break either of your watches! Because that is where the trouble began! Thanks for your comment!
Yeah, but don't watch it just before bedtime! Becca, do you remember the Twilight Zone about the magic stopwatch which would freeze-frame the whole world (stop everything) ? I think that must have subconsciously been in my mind when I wrote this poem. Except that mine is a wristwatch, and it doesn't stop time, it makes it go backward.
Ever So Beautifully Created! ! ! ! ! Woven And Weaved! ! ! ! ! Straight Into The Hearts Of Those Who Read! ! ! ! ! Very Beautiful Sentiments! ! ! ! ! Thank You Ever So Much For Sharing This! ! ! ! ! Absolutely Wonderful! ! ! ! ! Ever So Very Many 10S! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! +++++
Wow, Bec, if you laid the praise on any heavier, it would break my back! ; One thing about you- - You don't 'half-step.' You give something your all, whether it's your writing or your appreciation of others' writing! Thanks so much!
The poems structural crafting is virtually flawless, with 22 of 24 lines sporting exactly 8 syllables & providing the poem with a flux & cadence e suited for both lyric and literature.Overall, the work was clad with polish & panache. But, I must warn you: If you continue to pump out pen-gems like this, you will have to change your sign-off from Practicing to Perfecting Poetess. You Rock, Missy! FjR
Thank you so much, Frank, for the expert analysis! I feel as though I just received a high mark from a professor! I also feel as though I'm producing real poetry now, as opposed to mere light emotional fluff. Thank you for making my day! :)
This is a great and thought invoking poem. It brings to mind that old saying be careful of what you wish for.
Exactly, Lamar. Reminds me a little of the classic story of The Monkey's Paw. Or maybe something from The Twilight Zone! Thanks for the positive comment!
How utterly heartbreakingly beautiful Peter P. Depth of expression is unrelentingly perfect. I am moved permanently by this. I'd do it all again.
A lovely write on time.. The memories of childhood and the time spend with loved ones, we love to cherish those moments again and again. Well penned poetess
A little re-visiting olden times is okay, as long as they are the good times, and not the bad memories that we'd just as soon forget. Who'd wish to be trapped in the bad memories?
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7/18/2025 12:33:02 AM # 1.0.0
He found the surprise day before. This was definitely very amazing. Jeremy's daydream was wonderfully scribbling but there was no possibility that it would come true. They could become curse too. An amazing thought provoking and thoughtful poem is brilliantly penned that representd fantasy...10
Thank you so much, Kumar, for taking the time to read and comment!