This Thing Needs A Doctor! Comments

ellias, i have read this twice so far. it gets easier the second time around. i do think some words don't work for me here, and i think you sometimes think you are rhyming when i don't think you are. maybe i'm wrong about that; maybe you aren't trying to rhyme. i may comment more at a later time but i have other things on my mind now. ================================ i will point out one thing. when i first read No Friends, all the things above, ... i thought No Friends meant not one friend/zero friends, but now i believe you are talking to your Friends (capitalized as though it is a person's name; i like that idea) , telling them No, all the things above, can only be seen in the word love, ... [i would NOT put a comma after above, but i WOULD put a comma after No. so in the poem i would put a comma between No and Friends]. overall, the poem shows promise and shows that you seem to be concerned about the future of mankind. thanks for sharing. bri :) remind me to comment more (perhaps next time in a personal message) if you want more critiquing done by me.

a good work! i liked it...and i liked the way u write this line: or people who are called sage, with spirituality which is strange thanksssssssssss ;)