Sunday, July 12, 2009

This Path Called Love. Comments

Rating: ★4.5

It is the longest path,
An open road.
I stand at the brink,
Toes tipping the edge, and I sigh.
...
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Danielle Ward
sometimes
COMMENTS
Rob Fletcher 12 July 2009

Your path of love has promise but I do suggest you remove 'it will seem' from two of your lines. Your poem falters due to repetition and repeating this phrase does not reinforce...it hinders. I like this otherwise.

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Danielle Ward

Danielle Ward

Liverpool
Danielle Ward
Danielle Ward
Liverpool
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