Friday, February 2, 2007

This Is Our World! ! (Shocking N Explicit) Comments

Rating: 4.5

Where a child lives in a warm mother's cocoon
Where a child is sold to the prostitutes, her life doomed
...
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Renu Rakheja a.k.a Tranquil Ocean
COMMENTS
Ashley Mejia 30 July 2009

wow this poem forces the reader to realize that this is in fact our world. this is a an eye-opening poem, good job: ]

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David Dennis 16 February 2007

Is this true? .... It can't be surely....God to think that I make jokes about paedophilia... Do chimpanzees do this I wonder? Anyway to the critique: Striking polemic here. The couplets showing polemical dichotomy between first and second lines is simple and effective, however this dichotomy should be more obvious in the first stanza. Forced rhyme in the fourth stanza kills it for me. It doesn't have a finish.

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Original Unknown Girl 12 February 2007

Gosh TO, a most sobering read, a very real problem and you wrote about this with good grace. What a shocking and dreadful place these young children are in, I do hope some of them get rescued into a 'normal' world, where love of a child means exactly that; pure and simple. Good if somewhat harrowing write. HG: -) xx

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Andrew mark Wilkinson 12 February 2007

What a sad world we live in, we say look how far we have come... but yet here we are doing what the romans where doing two thousand years later... where is Civilisation...? great writing tranquil makes you think...

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Raghavan Warrier 04 February 2007

When a poem is based on facts hard to deny, it makes me sad. Very well written.

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Frank James Ryan Jr...fjr 02 February 2007

Both gripping & rivoting work here, T.O.....AS dUNCAN ALLUDED TO ALREADY...THE FACT THAT ALL YOUR RESEARCH IS BASED ON ACTUALS....LEAVES ME UNCHARACTERISTICALLY HESITANT IN EXERCISINF MY USUAL STYLED CRITIQUE...MAKE NO MISTAKE, THOUGH, MY FRIEND...THIS IS A VERY SOLID PIECE OF CRAFTING...HANDS DOWN... FJR

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Duncan Wyllie 02 February 2007

This is just too sad to make coment on..it leaves me so sad..numb of mind..crying inside You are so profound here, Love duncan X

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Linda Ori 02 February 2007

Pretty graphic and powerful piece, here, T O. You open our eyes to the horrors of a supposedly advanced society. Doesn't say much for the intellectual and moral growth mankind, does it? Linda

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Ronald Stroman 02 February 2007

friendly faces with unfriendly hands.

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Francesca Johnson 02 February 2007

Indeed shocking and extremely traumatising to think of all those little children losing what should be happy childhoods. My heart breaks. Thank you, TO, for bringing this out into the open. The statistics are horrifying but I suspect they are even greater than those quoted. Love, Fran xxx

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