A teardrop drips from cheek to chin
a beer drop hits the weakness within
my hollow heart and blankened mind
the bleeding soul
...
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Once I was read this I thought it was beautiful. EXCELLENT! !
Quirky extra onomatopoeic ps softened me up before the power of the wave hit. Sensational.
I love a cold beer too, man. 'A beer drop hits the weakness within' nice internal rhyme there. You have flow in your writing. Another poem I enjoyed right here.