This Altered State Of Mind Poem by Jesse Mejia

I sit here in my altered state of mind, the beautiful face I once stared at with such lust and love now seems to fill my heart with disgust and despair, altered in a sense by this poison flowing through my cold veins.

You seem ugly, mishapen, changed into something I hate and yet you still have the glow that I love…is that odd, does it seem weird that something so vile, seems to attract me, is it the power you could have over me as I lay here or is it the thought of your death that entices me?

Is murder on my mind? Are the blurs around me people or my imagination running on its own…is that a laugh I hear? Is it now or something I remember from the times we shared together? Perhaps nether, maybe it's just in my head…is my head laughing at me again, am I crazy…

I feel different am I me, or am I you, I can't seem to find myself, am I alive your dead, maybe just lost within myself. The room spins and thing mix up. I watch you leave as I beg for you to stay but off you go…my eyes close and I see myself with you happy perhaps even happy with you.

A song comes on… My mind reminds me of you with our song that sounds as pleasant as the sound of bird in the morning.

My head is pulsing and I feel the spinning stop my hand closes around a needle…can I feel that, is that my hand that moved, I can't remember this feeling. I look over and see your pillow untouched since the day you left me…left me alone with my mind, in which we stay together happy in a sense…happy together for the rest of my life.

Do I do this to remember or forget I can't remember, is it to forget to remember, or remember to forget… I close my eyes again and there you are smiling and singing…

Don't leave me…

Another needle punctures my skin and my head spins once more, I lose my self again.

In the one place I still have you