The Wrestlers Funeral Comments

There's a lot of beauty and poigancy in this piece, Oscar - 'enough twists curves and large hills and dips to resemble living a hectic life' is a terrific line. I think I started getting just a tiny bit bored in the middle and especially toward the end because, in my opinion, you used too many words to convey your point and also because the words became too plain. You like to write in prose, and I think it's fine to write poetry in prose format but to be compelliing I think it still needs to be lyrical and have some kind of poetic flow and rhythm. But in general, I like this piece - interesting subject and interesting points you make.