Wednesday, February 28, 2018

The Withered Lotus Comments

Rating: 0.0

Deep are the autumn tints a-growing,
fallen leaves drift like butterflies;
colored flowers already are in sleep,
all is silence, absolutely quiet.
...
Read full text

Perdita Young (Hanna Wang)
COMMENTS
Dr Dillip K Swain 25 May 2018

Mortal eyes could not well see/the touching shades of its glee....Fabulous poetic expression! It's a beautiful poem dear Perdita! Loved reading it.....10

0 0 Reply
Perdita Young 25 May 2018

Thank you Dillip for reading and commenting this free verse~ :) Perhaps there is something like glee at the instant when a human spirit frees itself from the body? ? ? Who knows...

0 0
Dr Dillip K Swain 25 May 2018

Mortal eyes could not well see the touching shades of its glee:

0 0 Reply
Bri Edwards 22 May 2018

(cont.) ....the withered lotus was experiencing glee? ? i guess it would have its reasons. perhaps it is needing a rest. ....in last stanza, line 3 an other: i'm not sure if i've ever used an other when i would use another, but it is ok, it seems. // in poem's last line i would take out the a. :) but i like the poem, especially the first and last stanzas. bri ;)

3 0 Reply
Perdita Young 23 May 2018

The withering/ fading of life has always been tinted with sadness and sorrow, but the transformation from an earthly life to its spiritual one might be different? ? ? I do not know...Perhaps it resembles the process of an insect hibernating to prepare for its wings as a butterfly(? according to the Chuangtse mentalism)Thanks again for the great suggestions. I'll have to do some corrections here..

0 0
Bri Edwards 22 May 2018

(cont.) ....AND Thither! ? ....adverb archaic literary adverb: to or toward that place; there ..... no wonder i didn't recognize it; it is an archaic word; i haven't spoken Archaic in many years! ! ! ;) (cont.)

3 0 Reply
Perdita Young 23 May 2018

I am thinking about whether it is absolutely necessary here~

0 0
Bri Edwards 22 May 2018

i'm wondering how lines 1 & 2 of stanza #2 tie together. are you referring to the sounds of the geese? haply dreaming like Chuangtse..........haply ** is a 'new word' for me! ** Definition of haply: by chance, luck, or accident [thanks, Google! ] ....maybe haply is related to a word i know: perhaps. perhaps it is! ! ! and i believe there is a word happenstance. and of course happen. (continued) ...

2 0 Reply
Perdita Young 23 May 2018

Thank you so much for your time and comment, Bri. This is translation from an early Chinese poem and upon re-reading stanza #2 i also feel it could have been more coherent...Will try to improve :)

0 0
Close
Error Success