The Space Between Us Poem by cassidy Lovato

We met in a room
where we were both the odd ones out
two girls hiding in scripts and stage lights,
learning lines
because it was easier than being seen.

I used to think
that made us the same.

You grew roots
in steady ground.
I learned how to bloom
in survival.

There are whole versions of me
you never met
the shelter nights,
the slammed doors,
the way I learned to laugh
before anyone could ask
if I was okay.

I never told you.
That part is mine.

What we had was easy once.
Bookstore afternoons.
Shared jokes.
The kind of friendship
that didn't have to prove itself
because it was just there.

But somewhere along the way
I started counting.

Counting invitations.
Counting check-ins.
Counting how often
I was the one reaching.

I told myself
you're just busy.
You're just not a texter.
You're just different.

But when I finally let you see
the part of me that was drowning
the depression,
the fear,
the tightness in my chest at night
I waited.

Not for advice.
Not for saving.
Just for presence.

And you were quiet.

I watch you live your life
full, bright, chosen
and I am so genuinely happy for you.
I am.

But I can't stop wondering
what I am in it.

Am I nostalgia?
A chapter?
A name you smile at
but don't dial?

I don't need you
to carry my weight.
I just needed to know
you would notice it.

I needed, for once,
not to be the brave one.
Not to be the strong one.
Not to be the girl
who survives quietly.

I needed to feel
chosen.

And I don't know
if I ever was.