The Sorrow Of A Hedgehog Comments

Subhash, I like the premise of the poem and the feelings it conveys, but your rhyme and meter distract me from your message. It seems as though I get into a good reading rhythm then its lost… that leaves me wandering a bit through the piece with nothing to hold on to. There are good ‘bones’ in the work, I’d think about your use of rhyme in making it more cohesive and stronger. -Eila

great go! a very emotional one! ! jus' gr8