The Shallowman Comments

I liked it. It makes me afraid that I am the Shallowman. I think it comes close to standard verse. I think you should work it more into standard verse. I love your poem calling because it does not rhyme. But this comes close and. I think, should be a standard poem. I hate 'I went up the hill, I took a pill. I felt the chill' sort of poetry that is poetry without beauty but I also think a poem that comes so close without actually rhyming seems to look as if the poet didnt quite get it. I think this is a powerful poem not quite finished. Again, Im trying to be honest and helpful. I liked it a lot.

I like this very much Martin, very well written....and very sad. alana