The Sexaholic Shopaholic Workaholic In Me Goes The Techie Way Poem by Gayathri Seetharam

The Sexaholic Shopaholic Workaholic in me goes the techie way
-Gayathri B. Seetharam
Out of the depths of my mind, floated the strains of an old Hindi song,
"Somewhere far when the day is fading
The bride of evening stole the daylight
How did she secretly come into the room"
Me thinks that the writer of the song was a tad depressed;

I am actually a little tired for last night
I, using surface integrals, calculated the increase in surface area
Of the male organ when it is sexually aroused
And found that this state of being makes its surface area become 10 inches plus bigger
Surely, the dimensions are accurate and you can get a feel for my calculations, Gentlemen,
And I, as a female engineer who has engineered this data,
Am the right person to calculate the numbers which don't lie
Do read my paper published on my Linked In page;

I rue the fact that there are no male nerdy blondes around
And only attractive platinum blondes who are on the political stage
Mind you, I wouldn't go shopping for one
But during my graduate school days in chemical engineering at U of Toronto,
I had met my techie husband's supervisor, John, and an intern in the company, Max,
Who fit the description for they were long haired and loved Alanis Morisette
If gentlemen prefer blondes is the old view,
I find black haired men or brunettes difficult to fathom
For they do not easily engineer numerical data in the form of dollar bills or cheques
Coming home to my residence
No matter how hard I try and how much ever I excel
Are they fathoms deep in work
Or knots fast in their personal lives;

I could have a sign labelled as coming with big, natural breasts
But that would be not the done thing as a friendly individual of other females
I could however, purely as a mathematical exercise, calculate the surface area of my breasts
Using surface integrals
And that would put a measure on my skills as an engineer
For I am trying to make a breakthrough in my engineering world
As well as make headway as an artist, poet and writer
And it struck me that my breasts are hemispheres, right and left,
I would have to eliminate the sag which is a natural aspect of my breasts
And I would have to consider spherical coordinates and angles and radii of curvature
You gentlemen, would have to consider the angles of incidence.